


The Choice to Love

by Saffron Rose (GaubHefta)



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Anxiety, Big Bang Challenge, Campaign 05: A Crown of Candy, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, Dimension 20 Big Bang, F/F, Fainting, Family Bonding, Pre-Canon, Science Fiction inspired, Self-Sacrifice, The moment I heard Lazuli could see potential futures I KNEW I had to write about her, rot and candy gore, seizure-like symptoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28526925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaubHefta/pseuds/Saffron%20Rose
Summary: Follow Lazuli Rocks from her earliest memory to her final moments entering The Sugar Plum Fairy's embrace as she learns she can see potential futures and has to decide how to act on what she sees.
Relationships: Amethar Rocks & Citrina Rocks & Lazuli Rocks & Rococoa Rocks & Sapphria Rocks, Caramelinda Rocks/Lazuli Rocks
Kudos: 12
Collections: Dimension 20 Big Bang





	The Choice to Love

**Author's Note:**

> It's finally here! Thank you to my amazing artist Una (@gluegunshots on Twitter and Tumblr) who did the truly INCREDIBLE accompanying art.
> 
> Thank you to my beta reader Ash (@ a_m_gage on Twitter, sheismessy_butsheskind on AO3), who gave amazing advice and did so many last-minute revisions. And to my friend Cameron, who has never seen Dimension 20 but was so helpful for talking things through.
> 
> And of course, thank you to our wonderful mods, who put this whole thing together, and were so very kind with extensions. I literally couldn't have done this without you.

In the center courtyard of Castle Candy, there stands a marbled blue statue of a woman. This is her story.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 4 years, 2 months, and 4 days**

Lazuli didn’t remember waking up but she found herself walking the corridors of Castle Candy. She told anyone who would listen to what she had seen but they all just asked her why she was out of bed so late at night.

Her mother found her, sitting in the middle of the courtyard. Lazuli gazed up at the full moon in awe, breathing in the thick, sweet summer air.

“Oh, Lazuli,” her mother murmured, scooping her up. Lazuli looked back at her, eyes wide.

“It’s dark,” she said.

“Yes, it’s still nighttime, which means you should be in bed.”

“No, Mommy, it was all dark! People were crying!” 

“Mhm” was the only acknowledgment from Queen Pamelia.

“Was the lady okay?”

“What lady?”

“The blue lady! She fell down!”

“I think you had a nightmare, my sweet.” Queen Pamelia kissed Lazuli’s forehead and tucked her back into bed.

But Lazuli knew different. It felt too real to be a dream. She didn’t bring it up again.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 9 years, 7 months, and 18 days**

It was evening when it first happened. They were playing a gambling game of Ceresian origins, Rococoa, Citrina, and her. They sat in Rococoa’s room on a big rug, in linen shifts and bare feet. Citrina was six and up way past her bedtime, but part of the excitement of the game was that playing it felt forbidden. Citrina’s eyes kept closing, as she slowly tilted to the side before jolting back up before she could fall. Eventually, Rococoa folded and stood up. 

“Alright, time for bed!”

“I want to keep playing!” Citrina complained.

“Come on,” Rococoa said, squatting down to face her little sister.

“Cocoa!” Citrina protested but was already wrapping her arms around her sister’s neck. Rococoa scooped Citrina up, as Citrina’s little legs wrapped around Rococoa’s waist.

Lazuli, still sitting on the floor, smiled up at her sisters. She blinked, frowning. Without even realizing it, chunks of her vision had become obscured by dark blue spots. The more she tried to blink, the less she could see. A pit formed in Lazuli’s stomach and it felt hard to swallow. The spots refused to clear, dancing, swimming around her field of vision. “Rococoa…”

“What?” Rococoa turned around, looking at her sister, half in frustration, half in concern.

An instinct to run kicked in inside of Lazuli and she tried to stand up from the floor but her head felt heavy. Lazuli fell forward.

_...the air was thick with the stench of death.  
The smell of burnt sugar and bread.  
The smell of decay and mold.  
The sound of swordfight rang out.  
A bright flash.  
Her body felt heavy. Had she seen this before?  
A roar of thunder... _

It felt like she had swum too deep in the Cola River and now was struggling to pull herself back up to the surface. A ringing sound grew louder and louder in her ears. Lazuli looked around to see where the noise was coming from, and all she could see was darkness. The ringing faded into voices: someone was shouting “A healer! We need a healer!!”

The feeling came back to her body before she could realize it had been missing in the first place. Her whole body was tingling. She could feel the heavy pounding of her heart in her chest. Lazuli started to feel the stone ground underneath her. She was uncomfortable sweaty. She felt her head resting on something soft and warm. Her right leg was still unusually heavy.

Lazuli blinked and blinked and then her vision cleared. She was looking up from Rococoa’s lap. Her sister was clutching a candlestick, held aloft as a makeshift weapon, surveying the area as if looking for a fight. There was the commotion of people running and shouting all around them but Lazuil focused on her sister’s face above her. “I’m okay, Cocoa. Really, I’m okay.”

“You’re awake!” The heaviness in her leg lifted as Citrina scrambled up to hug Lazuli around the chest. She stared at Lazuli, wide-eyed. “You’re okay, right?”

Lazuli started to sit up. “I think so.”

“Stay down!” Lady Fran Gray, their nurse, called out. She rushed over to the girls, kneeling beside Lazuli. “What happened? Where are you hurt?”

“I think I’m just tired, I must have dozed off!”

Lady Gray turned towards Rococoa. “You said you saw her fall?”

“She does seem fine now…” Rococoa looked at Lazuli. “She was breathing weird and her eyes were twitching. It was really scary.”

“I’m fine! Really!” Lazuli tried to sit up again.

Lady Gray placed both her hands firmly on Lazuli’s chest and closed her eyes. “Oh Great White Rabbit, heal this child,” she murmured. A warmth spread outward through Lazuli from Lady Gray’s palms and then faded. Lady Gray looked Lazuli intently in the eyes. After a moment, she looked up, at the surrounding crowd of guards and family. “I think she’s fine.”

Queen Pamelia herself stepped forward. “Let me see my child.”

Lazuli stood to her feet, shakier than she was expecting. The queen pulled Lazuli close into a deep hug. “I’m glad you are okay,” she murmured. It was only in her mother’s embrace that Lazuli felt like crying.

“Thank you for calling for us, Rococoa,” Pamelia said, still holding Lazuli. “Although,” she continued, pulling away, “you should all be in bed.”

Lady Gray was already holding Citrina in her arms. “I’m sorry, Your Majesty, I am on it immediately. Come now, princesses.”

Pamelia kissed Lazuli on the forehead before nudging her slightly towards the nursemaid. “To bed now.”

“Can I skip school tomorrow, Mommy?” Lazuli asked.

Pamelia sighed. “We’ll see, Lazuli. If you are too exhausted, we can see what can be arranged.”

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 9 years, 11 months, and 16 days**

She lay in bed, eyes wide open, staring up at the ceiling. She could hear Rococoa breathing quietly in the bed next to her. Her whole body was tense and her heart was beating too fast. She had collapsed again earlier that day at breakfast.

She hadn’t told her family what she had seen, but now it played over and over again in her mind: She fell, over and over and over again. She tried to grab the edge of the ramparts where she was climbing, and she just barely grabbed it, scrapping her legs against the stone. She tried to grab the edge of the roof and just barely missed it but Citrina caught her before she could process that she had fallen. She tried to grab the edge of the roof and just barely missed it, her body hitting the ground with a cold crack. She felt her own skull smash to pieces.

Now in bed, Lazuli could hear that awful cracking sound again. She watched herself trip and fall over and over again. It was so clear in her mind, the feeling that she was going to die.

It wasn’t the pain that scared her, it was the finality. Her family was counting on her to leave a legacy and what did she have to show for herself? A passion for reading? What was she going to do with that?

“It was just a dream,” she whispered to herself, but that didn’t help much. Even if these strange visions meant something, Lazuli didn’t want to die in vain. She wanted to make something of her life.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 16 years, 4 months, and 28 days**

“Lazuli!” the call rang up from the corridor and Lazuli’s stomach knotted more. “Come on, it’s time to go!”

Citrina glanced up from the other armchair across the room, looking at her sister expectantly. “Aren’t you going to go?” 

Lazuli sighed, setting her book aside, and stood up. Her dress was uncomfortable and stiff, and Rococoa had insisted she wear a tight necklace. She adjusted her small round frames, which had rested on the bridge of her nose since she was ten. 

Citrina beamed up at her. “Have fun!”

“Oh, shut up,” Lazuli sighed and left the room.

As Lazuli descended the grand staircase, she saw her parents and sister waiting for her, ready. Rococoa was stunning, of course, her hair wrapped up in a patterned scarf, her head held high. She wore big circular earrings, three different beaded necklaces, and a confident smile. She held her cloak and folded leather gloves in her hands.

Sapphria was pouting by the doorway, arms crossed across her chest, her braided hair filled with handpicked flowers. “I don’t understand why I can’t go too!” she exclaimed. Sapphria was a bit of a mystery to Lazuli. She was so much more sociable than Citrina had been at that age and certainly more sociable than Lazuli had ever been. She would strike up a conversation with every servant she passed in the hall, and when they went into Dulcington, she was dead set on making friends with everyone they met. Lazuli didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or jealous. 

Lazuli could never be that confident. When she would walk through the castle or town, she was too worried about what other people thought of her to smile. She was the strange princess who could collapse at any minute, people were too cautious around her. It was only in the library where Lazuli felt safe. No eyes on her, no whispered conversation, just herself and her books. A ball was her worst nightmare.

“Sapphria, I’ve told you already, the ball will go late past your bedtime,” their mother responded, donning her cloak with aid from a servant. “I’m sure your brother will play with you.”

“Lady Gray put him to bed already,” Sapphria responded, even more sullen than before. 

“Well, I’m sure you can find something to do!” Their father smiled a weak smile before glancing nervously at his wife.

Pamelia knelt down beside Sapphria. “I’m sure if you ask Chef Brulee very politely, he’ll have a treat waiting for you in the kitchen. Now,” she said, standing up. “It is time to go. Come on Lazuli!”

Lazuli quietly followed her family outside.

…

Lazuli sat at the edge of the room, watching the swirling skirts of the dancers. Among them was her sister, her posture perfect, her smile serene. The bards in the corner were bobbing their heads, beating the drums, one singing a merry tune.

As the song came to a close, a young man came up to her, hand extended out. “May I have this dance?” he asked, the fourth of such request Lazuli had heard that night.

“No, thank you,” she forced out with a smile.

The man bowed and walked away and Lazuli decided she’d better move out of sight to resist more advances.

At the long table set up in the adjoining room, Lazuli poured herself a cup of punch. She realized after a while standing there in thought that a young woman, really a girl, about 10 years old, was staring at her. She wore a large hoop skirt and had long blonde hair. Lazuli stared back. The girl was beautiful. 

Lazuli looked down at her cup intently, feeling her cheeks go pink. ‘Was this what the men who want to dance feel when they look at me?’ she thought to herself. After a long moment, Lazuli decided she should at least say hello. She looked up only to realize the girl had run off. Lazuli sighed.

…

Sapphria and Citrina were waiting in their room when the eldest Rocks sisters finally returned home from the ball. “She insisted we stay up,” Citrina explained.

“Let’s go stargazing!” Sapphria cried.

“Alright,” Rococoa smiled.

They snuck through the castle hallways until they came to the edge of the ramparts. Keeping hidden, they decided to climb the wall. Sapphria and Rococoa went first. They kicked off their shoes, clinging on to the cold stone with their bare feet. 

Lazuli should have done the same because the second she placed her slipper on the edge, it slipped out underneath her. Lazuli flailed on blind instinct, all thoughts gone from her mind except survival. She tried to reach for the edge of the walkway but her grip wasn’t sturdy enough and all she caught was air. She was falling.

Her body shuddered as Lazuli fell into her sister’s strong arms. “Careful there, Laz,” Citrina’s voice said in her ear. “That was scary!”

Lazuli’s mind was racing. She had felt this sensation before. When she had collapsed at breakfast. In her nightmares ever since then. It couldn’t just have been a coincidence- she had predicted this. Citrina had saved her but… had she always saved her?

“Are you okay?” Citrina asked. “You’ve gone as white as a sheet.”

“I’m fine,” Lazuli croaked out. She was too old to cry in front of her sisters. “I’m pretty tired actually. I think I’m just going to go back to bed.”

“Awwww,” Sapphria whined, but Lazuli was already walking away.

“Goodnight!” a confused Rococoa called out behind her. 

Once Lazuli got back to her bed, she curled into a tiny ball and wept.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 16 years, 4 months, and 29 days  
14 years, 11 months, and 2 days until war ravages Calorum**

Lazuli found her mother in the throne room, looking over something with Steward Gelato. Lazuli waited patiently for them to finish before approaching her mother. She looked tired and was rubbing the bridge of her nose.

“Mother can I… can I ask you something?” 

“You can ask me anything you’d like, my sweet.” Pamelia smiled at her daughter, the stress fading ever so slightly.

Lazuli stared at her feet. Even with so much to say, she didn’t know how to put it into words.

“Lazuli?”

“So, you know when I collapse, and I say I’m fine? And Lady Fran and the doctors always say I’m fine? It’s not fine. Because every time I collapse, I see all these images and feel all these things and I thought they were just dreams. But yesterday I, um, I tripped and it felt exactly like how it did in one of my dreams. So they can’t just be dreams. They are visions.”

“When did you trip? At the ball? Why didn’t you tell me? Are you okay?”

“Mommy, listen! These visions, they aren’t just of small things. I’ve seen death.” Lazuli took in a deep breath. “Death. A massacre. I think- I think war is coming.”

Pamelia let out a deep sigh. “What kind of war?”

“You believe me?”

“Lazuli. You are my daughter, I will always listen to you. And I trust you. You’ve got a smart head on your shoulders.”

“Can we do something about it?”

“Do you know what kind of war? Who are the different sides?”

“I don’t know…”

“Even if we do know more, can we change it? Prophecies always come true.”

“But sometimes prophecies are made up just to get people to do what they’re told.”

“Is that what you’re trying to do?”

“No,” Lazuli responded quiet but firm. “I want to help people.”

“Then what do you need to help people?”

“I want to learn more. I want to keep reading. Can I have access to the great libraries of Comida?”

“We’ll see what we can arrange.”

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 18 years, 5 months, and 6 days  
12 years, 11 months, and 5 days until war ravages Calorum**

Lazuli was falling but she didn’t know where. All around her was a bright light. It was hard to breathe. She had been falling for what felt like forever before shapes began to appear above her. She realized, all at once, that she was plummeting headfirst towards the Great Stone Candy Mountains.

As quickly as she realized this, Lazuli was standing inside a great cavern. Emerging from the shadows was a figure of sickly purple, with thin limbs that stretched like taffy. It had six shimmering wings and six beady, black eyes. The figure never blinked, not once. The figure twitched slightly, as if it wasn’t put together right, as if in an instant it would crumple out of reality. The figure opened its mouth to speak.

Lazuli opened her eyes. She was sitting in her desk chair. She could hear birds chirping outside. She cautiously rubbed her leg. She had complete sensation in all her limbs. This was unusual. It usually took her minutes to regain her senses after a vision. That almost left Lazuli more shaken than the vision itself. Almost.

She looked back at the book she had been reading. Its pages were covered in old Bulbian text and rough illustrations of fairytale creatures. It was closer to a collection of notes than a complete book. Her mother had bought it from a traveling caravan that had passed through Dulcington the week before. The page that lay open in front of her now was a two-page spread of a sparkling purple creature. The creature from her vision.

Lazuli knew one thing. She had to find out what this creature was and speak with it.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 20 years, 6 months, and 15 days  
8 years, 10 months, and 14 days until war ravages Calorum**

Lazuli woke up in a panic. Across the room, Clementine snored softly. She had just been kissing them… it wasn’t a vision, just a regular dream but she had….

Clem was the first person Lazuli had been close to who wasn’t family. Lazuli had been residing in Buzzybrook for little under a year now and she found it easier to connect with the town’s residents if she stayed among them. It was common to share a room at the local hostel, and so Lazuli split the rent with a pleasant young person named Clementine. Lazuli was used to sharing spaces with siblings, and they were about Lazuli’s age, so it was an easy fit. They existed in the same space for a couple of months in comfortable silence. 

And then, around Highfrosting’s Eve, Lazuli entered the room to find Clementine sitting on their bed, weeping. Lazuli didn’t know what to do other than sit next to her roommate in solidarity. She cautiously put a hand on Clementine’s back and rubbed small circles into it, like Citrina would do whenever Lazuli collapsed. Clementine didn’t say anything, but they relaxed back into the hand, continuing to cry. The two of them sat like that there for many minutes before Clementine’s crying stopped. Lazuli asked if they wanted something to drink and they said yes. Over a bottle of rich Fructeran wine, the two talked about everything- everything other than what had made Clementine upset that is. By the end of the night, Lazuli had made a friend.

And now Clementine was all Lazuli could think about.

…

“You’re looking at me weird.”

“What?” Lazuli was jolted from her thoughts, making eye contact with Clementine across the room.

“You were looking at me,” Clem said again.

“I was staring off into space, I am sorry.”

“I’ll take your word for it. But you have been weird lately.”

Lazuli could feel herself blushing. “Just been reading an interesting book, that’s all.”

“Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.” Clementine smiled.

…

“Clem?”

“Mhm?” came the response in the darkness.

“Have you ever been in love?”

“Oh, hundreds of times,” Clementine replied.

“What does it feel like?”

“Oh Bulb, that’s a big question, Lazuli. Uh, it feels like, a fluttering, I guess? Like your heart wants to leave your chest, but in a way that feels good. Like you’ve tripped, but you hope someone will catch you.”

“I think I want you to catch me.”

There was no response. Lazuli’s heart skipped a beat. She opened her mouth once again despite her better judgments.

“Like I feel a fluttering when I’m around you, and if I’m falling, I want you to catch me,” Lazuli continued. 

“I understood what you meant,” a voice spoke softly in her ear. “I like you too.”

Lazuli reached out in the dark, finding a warm cheek. Clementine’s hand reached up and covered Lazuli’s. “Can I kiss you?” Clementine asked. Lazuli nodded.

It was sloppy at first. Everything was new to Lazuli but eventually, the two of them found a rhythm. Suddenly, Lazuli felt a lurch inside her chest. Her vision was spinning in the unsettling, familiar way. She pulled away. “Sorry- I-”

_...A flash of something fluid and bright. A dagger. It plunges into the flesh.  
But it doesn’t.  
But it does.  
The figure turns around and swings back, returning the hit in an instant.  
The figure gasps and falls. Bleeding out.  
A familiar figure. The Twizzling Blade in hand. Rococoa... _

The ringing in her ears faded and Lazuli struggled to look around her. Clementine was still straddled over her but their face was twisted in confusion. “What in Bulb’s name was that?”

“Sorry!” Lazuli scrambled back. “I’m- I’m so sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Clementine’s brow was still furrowed.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just… I just need to send a quick message. I’ll be back in a moment, I promise!”

On shaky legs, Lazuli stumbled out into the hallway, her heart beating fast. She traced a quick sigil in the air and sent a message to Rococoa. “Hi sister, I just wanted to check-in. Please let me know if you’re alright! ...I had a worrying vision.”

Lazuli held her breath. A reply came at last, although it sounded groggy. “I am fine. Was asleep. ...I’m sorry you were worried, should I be on the lookout for anything?”

Lazuli sighed in relief. “Just watch your back. Could be bandits, could be something more sinister. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

By the time Lazuli came back into the room, Clementine was back in their bed, facing the wall. Lazuli didn’t disturb them again.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 21 years, 7 months, and 3 days  
9 years, 9 months, and 2 days until war ravages Calorum**

The icy walls echoed with her footsteps. The air tasted sickly sweet. It made Lazuli’s stomach churn. 

Many months conversing with the elders of Buzzybrook and its neighboring towns and she had finally been given instructions on how to travel the Great Stone Candy Mountains to the cave of the Sugar Plum Fairy, the powerful being they worshiped and that Lazuli had seen in her visions years ago. Now she walked the frozen halls, alone.

Scanning the branching alcoves and corridors closely, Lazuli caught sight of something shining at the end of the tunnel. She ventured forward, her hand resting lightly on Sour Scratch, her bow.

The object she had spied was a set of armor. Lazuli took one look and instantly knew, there was a corpse still frozen inside. 

Behind Lazuli came a light sound of bells, ringing out like laughter. Lazuli whipped around. The air in front of her bent and shifted and she felt a cold wind whip around the edges of her coat and against her face. In the blink of an eye, a figure floated in front of Lazuli, with six dark eyes, elegant purple limbs, and a wide set of wings. 

“Are you the Sugar Plum Fairy?” Lazuli asked.

“Yes! And you are the Archmage Lazuli!” The fairy sang back. “Why have you come to me?”

“You grant the clerics of the Sweeting Path great power. I’m hoping you will share those same secrets with me.”

“If I give you power, you must give yourself to me in return.”

The hairs on the back of Lazuli’s neck began to prickle. “What does that entail?”

“Why you of all people should know knowledge is power! It comes at a cost!”

Lazuli glanced back at the figure, long dead, behind her. “How high is the cost?”

“It is worth the price,” the fairy laughed again.

“Show me what you are offering before I make this deal.”

The fairy grin, revealing teeth pointer than Lazuli would have liked. “Follow me!”

The fairy flitted about in the air ahead as Lazuli followed down another winding tunnel until the cave opened up into a large cavern. Lazuli looked around her and nearly gasped. There were piles of books and crystals and swords and bottles, stacked high and frosted over with ice. Lazuli could almost feel the magic emanating from it.

“All of this could be yours!” The fairy sang out.

“How long have you had all of this?” Lazuli asked.

“Why, as long as I have wanted it! I always get what I want.” There was that unnatural smile again.

“I can’t believe you have kept this hidden,” Lazuli murmured, almost to herself.

“Don’t you want it?” The fairy asked. “Come join me.”

Lazuli took a step back. “How long do your contracts ask, may I ask?”

“What use does a fairy have for time?”

Lazuli rubbed the bridge of her nose, looking again at all the hoarded treasure. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m going to have to pass.”

There was a distant roaring noise, like thunder. Rocks began to tumble from the cavern’s ceiling. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the fairy hissed.

Lazuli whipped out her bow and aimed an arrow at the creature’s heart. Although her aim was true, it passed right through the fairy, striking and skidding down the icy wall.

An enormous icicle fell from the ceiling, knocking Lazuli to the ground. She just barely missed being impaled.

Lazuli glanced at the stack of books closest to her. ‘Maybe if I make a run for it…’ she thought to herself.

“Come to me, Princess Lazuli!” The fairy sang.

Lazuli made up her mind. She turned and fled.

“I will have you one day, Lazuli Rocks!” the Sugar Plum Fairy shrieked after her. Lazuli didn’t dare to look back.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 22 years, 4 months, and 18 days  
9 years and 17 days until war ravages Calorum**

Lazuli rushed down the castle hallways. Citrina was waiting for her at the bedroom door. The sisters embraced tightly. “Is she okay?” Lazuli asked.

“She’ll live. Thanks in part to you.”

Lazuli quietly opened the door, looking into the chamber to find Rococoa lying in bed, their mother Pamelia asleep in the chair next to it. Lazuli knelt down next to her sister. “Oh Cocoa, I’m so sorry,” Lazuli murmured. She could feel tears pressing at the back of her eyes.

“Hey, Laz.” 

Lazuli looked up in shock. “You’re awake!”

“Yes.” Rococoa coughed slightly. “I’m a light sleeper even in the best of times.”

Lazuli got a good look at her sister now. Her shoulder-length hair was now a stark white and she had heavy bandages around her middle. “I am so, so sorry,” Lazuli began.

“Hush now! You did everything you could have! You warned me when you saw a vision and I was prepared for a fight! I wouldn’t have made it out without your warning. You saved me.” 

“I should have done more-”

“You need to stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, Lazuli. One of these days it’s going to kill you. Don’t worry about us.”

“Okay.” Lazuli bowed her head. “I’m so glad you’re alright.” She kissed her sister on the forehead and stood up. “Now try to get some rest.”

“I’ll try,” Rococoa laughed lightly. “You know Mom snores.”

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 25 years, 10 months, and 22 days  
5 years, 5 months, and 9 days until war ravages Calorum**

It was different studying when her family was around. Lazuli would glance absentmindedly up while reading and jolt with shock to see Sapphria standing over her, watching her read. Lazuli would never hear her come in. 

Amethar, on the other hand, was 16 and wanted everyone to know he was there when he entered the room. He would bust down Lazuli’s door without knocking, asking her if she wanted to come hang out. She always had to tell him no, and his face would always drop into a pout. 

When Citrina came to her one afternoon, with a sad smile and the words “we never see you anymore,” that’s when it hurt. That afternoon, she decided to find her sister and sit and talk for many hours, like they used to. 

She found Citrina in the music room, strumming a harp. Citrina, too, had changed with age. She now wore only linen robes, and kept her crown off, tucked away on her belt.

Citrina looked up from her practice. “Lazuli!”

“What are you working on?

“Oh, nothing. Just a song idea I had. What about you? What have you been reading? I’ve missed your stories!”

Lazuli bristled slightly. “They aren’t just stories, it’s history.”

Citrina blinked. “What do you mean?”

“The stories Lady Fran would tell us as children, even the fairytales I found in the library, those are real creatures that live in Candia. I’ve met one.”

“I know the Bulb has blessed you with powers, but are you saying there are other miracles you have seen? Or is it the work of the Hungry One?”

“I don’t think it’s evil. But it’s not sacred either. It works for itself. I’m hoping to plan a counter-attack-”

“Why would you attack a creature of the Bulb?” Citrina exclaimed.

Lazuli huffed. “It’s hoarding resources that should be shared!”

“But we already share so much with the people of Candia-”

Lazuli could feel frustration bubbling up inside of her but she rubbed the bridge of her nose and breathed out. “Let’s not argue. Good luck with your studies.” Lazuli managed a smile and left.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 31 years, 4 months, and 1 day**

She woke up cold. It was almost Highharvest, and her fire had died out in the middle of the night, but this was more than a natural chill. Her blood felt thick and her heart felt heavy.

She sat on the edge of her bed for a moment, waiting to see if the dizziness would come and a vision would fall upon her. A moment passed and everything was fine. Lazuli wrapped a shawl around herself and went in search of breakfast. Halfway down the stairs, she collapsed.

...the rustle of a long silk gown.  
Murmured words of love and appreciation. Church bells ringing. A joyous whoop and laughter.  
The feeling of hands clasped tight...

She came to on a couch in the main hall. Citrina sat next to her. “What did you see?” she murmured, as routine.

“It isn’t pressing.” Lazuli sat up. “Breakfast time?”

“Yes…” There was a hesitance in her voice that immediately caught Lazuli’s attention.

“What is it?”

“You should eat first,” Citrina began. Lazuli was already up and striding to the dining hall.

She found her mother, alone, focused intently on her porridge. “You were right.”

Her mother’s voice startled her. She sounded… defeated. The regal Queen Pamelia… defeated?

“Right about what?” Lazuli asked, sitting down, nodding a brief thank you to the servant who passed a plate of candied nuts and fruit in front of her.

“We received a message from Fructera today. War has been declared.”

Lazuli's stomach dropped. “No,” she murmured. “Not now.”

She stood up abruptly, saying nothing else, striding into the Great Hall. She didn’t stop when she heard her mother calling out to her- Lazuli was on a straight path through her cabinet and out to the stables. She grabbed Sour Scratch from the wall, a Meep from the stable, and was off.

Her Meep pounded through the fields, kicking up mud. Her braids were loose and flying behind her. They were running fast enough that her tears didn’t even have a chance to fall, they were wicked away by the wind.

Lazuli pulled back her bow and began shooting at tree trunks, the sky, anything. Just the feeling of letting her arrow fly was a comfort right now. She screamed out in pure frustration.

Rococoa found her kneeling in the mud. “What’s wrong, Lazuli?” she asked gently.

“How am I supposed to fall in love if there’s a war coming?” The desperation was more noticeable in her voice than Lazuli was expecting. She looked up at Rococoa, refusing to cry despite the pressure at the back of her eyes.

“Have you fallen in love?” Rococoa asked, matter-of-factly.

“No! But I might! Which is a paradox! If I know how I’m going to act, then I can choose to act another way! Which means I wouldn’t see myself acting that way! It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Now, I don’t understand paradoxes, and I barely understand love, but I do know one thing,” Rococoa said, reaching out a hand. “You think better when you are warm and well-fed.”

The mist turned to pouring rain as they made their way back home, the sugar water clinging in droplets to their hair and dampening their cloaks. As soon as they were home, Rococoa was calling for mugs of hot mead. They stripped down to their shifts to sit in front of the fire. The two sisters sat together, wrapped in blankets and silence.

In a soft voice, Lazuli broke the silence: “Did we have a happy childhood?” 

Rococoa looked at her puzzled. “I think so.”

“I don’t remember being happy.”

“You were happy! You used to tell us stories, you would babble on for hours and it made Citrina so happy.”

“I don’t think those were just stories, Cocoa. I think I was seeing the future even back then. I just didn’t know that’s what I was seeing.”

“How do you see? I never understood it.”

“Remember those Ceresian gambling games we used to play? If the dice were weighted right, it could fall on any number. People act on patterns, likely to always act one way when it lands on the number six and always act another way when it lands on three, but the dice are truly random. So it can land on any number. When I have a vision, it’s like I can see every single number and every single reaction to the number. I’m just not certain which number it’s actually going to land on. So I have to prepare for every single one.”

“Hmmm,” Rococoa mused. “That’s a lot of pressure for one person.”

“I can handle myself.”

“What does it feel like?”

“Oh boy.” Lazuli let out a sigh. “It’s like all of my senses are getting pushed out of my body onto another plane of reality. But, like falling asleep, I realize I’m waking up before I can realize I fell unconscious. I have to piece together what I saw as I come to. Coming back feels awful. My ears ring, my entire body tingles, and it can take minutes before I can properly see again.”

“Can you control what you see?”

Lazuli paused. “I- I’ve never tried…”

“Maybe if you willingly entered that state?”

Before Lazuli could answer, there was a knock on the door. A young servant opened it with a slight bow. “Apologies for interrupting, but your mother wants to see you, Princess Lazuli.”

“What now?” Lazuli muttered.

Rococoa smiled half-heartedly. “You don’t already know?”

“I wish I saw everything,” Lazuli replied, standing up. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck!”

…

“I regret that it has to come to this, my sweet.” Queen Pamelia sat on her throne, looking down at her daughter. Her eyes looked red as if she had been crying.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve given you the freedom to study and explore our fair country, never asking anything of you except that you return home one day. And I hoped you would return with a partner to marry, someone you loved dearly that I would approve of. And yet, you still have no partner. You are getting older, Lazuli, and now with war threatening our allies… Candia needs stability now more than ever. You need stability. You must wed.”

“What does a relationship have to do with stability?”

“You are second in line to the throne. Settling down sets a good example for our people.”

“Marriage is not the thing that will make Candia great! There is so much history we have denied ourselves, stories I had to find out all by myself. The tradition we should be discussing is magic, not marriage.”

“You may have read a lot of books, but I am still the queen. You must do as I say.”

Lazuli huffed and swiveled on her heel. 

“If you do not find a betrothed in the next two months, I will find one for you!” Pamelia shouted as Lazuli stormed out of the room.

After hurrying down the castle hallways without one direction or plan, Lazuli finally stopped, leaning with her back to the wall. She wished she could argue with her mother, but if there was one thing she knew, it was that her visions were true. Lazuli was to fall in love whether she liked it or not. 

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 31 years, 6 months, and 15 days  
6 months and 11 days until Lazuli Rocks is wed**

Lazuli hovered in the doorway. She wore her basic linen shift any time she could, but this was a special occasion. Her mother had insisted she wore her finest robe, dyed a deep blue. Her hair was pulled back in braids. Her glasses, which always hung on a chain around her neck, were the only part of her outfit that felt normal.

“What are you waiting for?” she whispered to herself. She took a deep breath and stepped forward.

Standing in the middle of the throne room was a young woman. She wore an off-the-shoulder lime-green dress with a full skirt and long sleeves. Her belt was encrusted with jewels and her neck was heavy with a diamond necklace. Her long curly blonde hair was braided and styled specifically to look carefree and natural. Lazuli took one look at her and knew this was the nicest outfit she owned.

“Lazuli, meet Duchess Caramelinda Meringue.” 

“A pleasure to meet you.” Lazuli bowed deeply. “Care to join me for a walk?”

…

They walked through the castle courtyards in silence, hands hovering near each other, but never touching. Lazuli cleared her throat awkwardly. “How are you?”

Caramelinda smiled slightly. “A bit overwhelmed if I’m being honest.”

“That is understandable. I hope the travel wasn’t too hard?”

And then Lazuli’s vision went spotty. ‘Of all the bad timings,’ she thought as she dropped to a sitting position on instinct. Caramelinda let out a soft “oh!” at the sudden movement, looking down at Lazuli with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Hold on- it’s just-” and then she was falling.

_...bright light.  
Her mother coughs. Even sickly, Lazuli recognizes that sound anywhere.  
An herb dissolving in a cup of warm mead. Queen Pamelia takes a sip.  
She relaxes.  
She continues to cough.  
She relaxes only to cough again... _

She came to in her betrothed’s arms. Caramelinda was praying quietly, eyes pressed tight.

“Caramelinda, it’s okay.” Lazuli couldn’t help but laugh. It had been a long time since someone had been caught off guard by one of her visions. “It was only a vision.”

Caramelinda’s eyes widened as her expression turned from worry to awe. “What did you see?”

“Nothing you need to worry about now.” Lazuli pulled herself and reached a hand out to Caramelinda. “Let me show you to your room. I think we’re going to need to reschedule this date.”

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 31 years, 6 months, and 29 days  
5 months and 27 days until Lazuli Rocks is wed  
8 months and 4 days until Queen Pamelia catches ill**

Lazuli sat at her desk, thinking about the conversation she had with Rococoa about a month or so before. She tried to relax, hands folded, trying to feel how she felt before a vision came.

She held her breath and waited. And waited. And waited. Lazuli let out a long sigh and picked up her quill again to begin writing. As she set it to the page, her hand began to shake. ‘Oh Bulb,’ she thought.

_…A battle rages. The Imperator Focaccia and Gustavo Uvano trade blows.  
Uvano pierces through to Focaccia’s heart.  
Focaccia cuts off Uvano’s head._

_Lazuli can feel her senses being sucked back into her body but she struggles against it. She needs to see what comes after. What Focaccia winning means._

_An armored gladiator sits on the throne. He waves for another round of drinks.  
A child cries out for his mother. She is too weak to get out of bed. People starve on the streets of Comida. _

_Again Lazuli strains with all her might. The other outcome. Uvano..._

There was the familiar ringing in her ears. Lazuli began to become aware of her body. She was still sitting in her room, slumped over. She rolled her neck, trying to stretch out the tension. She blinked away the last of the dark blue motes of light.

A soft knock came at Lazuli’s door. She looked up, confused. Her family never knocked. “Come in?”

The face that peaked through was round-cheeked and framed by long, curly hair. Caramelinda. “I thought you might like to go into Dulcington with me?”

“Oh! Of course! Give me one moment.”

…

They went to a small cafe in town. As they entered, Sapphria and Amethar were just leaving. Lazuli’s siblings wiggled their eyebrows at Lazuli. She sighed and tried to hide her heavy blush from Caramelinda.

“I would like to apologize for collapsing the first time we met. I promise it had nothing to do with you.”

“We had met before, actually.”

Lazuli blushed again. “When?”

“At a ball. Years and years ago.”

Lazuli’s eyes widened. “Oh! That was you?!”

“Yes,” Caramelinda chuckled softly. 

“You were the first woman I had feelings for!”

“And yet you forgot me?”

“I didn’t realize that was you!”

Caramelinda smiled. It was such a soft smile, Lazuli couldn’t help but smile back when she saw it. “Well, we’ve both grown up so much since then,” Caramelinda said.

“Yes. Yes, we have.”

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 31 years, 7 months, and 14 days  
5 months and 12 days until Lazuli Rocks is wed  
7 months and 19 days until Queen Pamelia catches ill  
5 years, 10 months, and 15 days until Imperator Focaccia and Gustavo Uvano battle to the death**

Lazuli lay in bed, her cheek pressed to the mattress. She twisted her fingers in the air and sent a quick sending spell to Caramelinda. 

“Hey, I miss you. Do you want to chat? I can’t sleep.”

“I’m still up. What’s up?” the response came. “How is your cousin? Cody?”

“Cumulous! He is well! I’m teaching the monks basic magic. They should know the powers they are protecting. There’s still so much to learn.”

There was a pause and Lazuli worried for a moment the spell didn’t go through. And then: “I’m sure. Do you think you could teach me someday?”

“Of course! Is it cheesy to say I genuinely enjoy helping people?’

“I’ve known you long enough to know you mean it. Your words are genuine.”

“You know what I realized the root of our problems is? Education! Even as a princess, I had to work to learn Candia’s secrets. It’s unfair! A resident of Dulcington or Buzzybrook would never have the same opportunities as me! We should establish a school of magic to give them that option.”

“I’m not sure what the rest of Calorum would say to that…”

“They have lost their magic as much as we have! Our school would be open to anyone!”

“You dream so big.” Lazuli could hear the smile in Caramelinda’s voice and couldn’t help but smile herself.

“Maybe they are just dreams. But I think we can make them a reality.”

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 31 years, 10 months, and 2 days  
2 months and 24 days until Lazuli Rocks is wed  
6 months and 1 day until Queen Pamelia catches ill  
5 years, 7 months, and 27 days until Imperator Focaccia and Gustavo Uvano battle to the death**

Lazuli disembarked the carriage, brushing charcoal off her skirt from the many notes she took along the journey.

Caramelinda was waiting at the gates. She rushed forward. “I’m so happy you are here!”

Lazuli smiled. “Care to join me for a walk?”

…

She took Caramelinda down to her favorite spot by the river, where she would go swimming with Sapphria when they were little. They watched a pair of caramel hawks flying high in the sky for a while before Lazuli knelt down on one knee.

“I brought you here because I wanted to ask you, properly, officially, if you would marry me, Caramelinda of House Meringue.”

Caramelinda looked Lazuli up and down and smiled softly. Lazuli had expected an immediate yes and froze, still kneeling awkwardly.

“If I am going to marry you, I want to ask you one thing,” came Caramelinda’s reply.

“What is it?”

“I want you to promise to always tell me the truth, no matter what you see in the future. Marriage is built on trust, and I want to trust you.”

She wasn’t asking Lazuli to love her. She wasn’t asking anything of Lazuli but honesty. Lazuli let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “I promise.”

It began to rain as they made their way back to the castle. The sugar water caused their clothes to cling to their skin and make everything sticky. Once they were safe inside the castle walls, they retreated to Lazuli’s room and sat by the fire. Caramelinda gently peeled Lazuli’s wet clothes off of her. Lazuli felt a kiss on the back of her neck. Lazuli looked at her bride-to-be. Cautiously, she reached out a hand and traced the outline of Cara’s face. She was so beautiful and so smart and so… good.

**Lazuli Rocks**

Lazuli’s skin felt sensitive and warm as if she had fallen asleep in the Bulb for too long. It felt nice. 

Their lips brushed softly. “Is this okay?” Lazuli murmured.

Caramelinda responded by kissing Lazuli deeper. Lazuli waved her fingers and a spectral hand quickly shot out and locked the door.

Lazuli’s kisses found their way down from Caramelinda’s mouth to her neck to her collarbone. She paused for a moment, making eye contact with Caramelinda. “You can kiss me anywhere you like,” she said, and so Lazuli continued.

The tips of her fingers felt like they were pulsing. Her heart was pounding. Her toes curled and flexed. Lazuli didn’t know if it was love but it sure felt good.

…

Caramelinda snored softly, curled on her side, asleep. Lazuli found her heart skip a beat as what was happening really sunk in. Caramelinda was beautiful. Lazuli shook her head and reached for the pipe she kept by the side of her bed.

Lazuli sat on the edge of the bed, smoking, still naked. Clutching the stem of the pipe between her teeth, she extended out her hands in front of her, tracing patterns in the air. Without the spoken incantation, the spell wouldn’t work, but the practiced, familiar moments comforted her.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 31 years, 11 months, and 8 days  
4 months and 25 days until Queen Pamelia catches ill  
5 years, 6 months, and 21 days until Imperator Focaccia and Gustavo Uvano battle to the death**

The air was thick with the stench of death: the smell of burnt sugar and bread, the smell of decay and mold. The biochemical warfare the Ceresian alchemists had concocted was raging through the Fructeran troops. Still, the sound of sword fighting rang out.

Lazuli stayed back, watching from the top of the hill, surveying the arcane canons. She still flinched at the thundering sound of the volleys, despite the fact she had designed them. With a brief flash of magic, a burst of fire could erupt onto the battlefield over a mile away.

Lazuli hadn’t slept in days. Her body felt heavy. The beats of this battle were familiar. She knew she had seen this before. Had she ever stopped seeing it? From the way she understood time, this moment was always happening, in some way or another. Another roar of cannon thunder.

Lazuli sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I think I’m losing my intuition,” she murmured. “This war is getting to me.”

Lazuli took in a deep breath. Her mind drifted to Caramelinda’s embrace. She would be home again soon.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 32 years, and 26 days  
3 months and 7 days until Queen Pamelia catches ill  
5 years and 3 days until Imperator Focaccia and Gustavo Uvano battle to the death**

Lazuli was running faster than she had ever run before.

“Your Majesty-” Theo began, hurrying up to her.

“I know!” Lazuli snapped, harsher than she had intended.

One arm pumping wildly, the other barely holding up her skirt, she thought to herself ‘This is why Sapphria wears pants.’ But Lazuli should always be prepared, she shouldn’t ever need to run! Why today, of all days, did she get lazy and rely on the naive hope that it’d all work out?

A fraction of her mind began to spin, part calculations, part worry, that this one small misstep would lead her down the wrong timeline, upsetting all chances of winning the war. She tried to keep that chatter to a minimum, especially as she rounded the corner, sliding into the chapel’s back door. Her whole family was already there, anxiety written plainly across all their faces. Only Citrina looked calm, sitting in the corner, hands folded.

“There she is!” Her mother exclaimed, part relief, part exasperation.

“Of course she is,” Citrina said, rising. “I knew my sister wouldn’t miss her own wedding!”

…

Caramelinda was radiant, of course. Her long blonde curls were pulled back in an intricate braid, her pearl necklace shined, and her white silk dress was refined yet elegant.

In truth, everyone looked amazing. The Rocks family were in their finest. Rococoa, recently promoted to general, wore a long cape with her dress, her sword and daggers hanging at her side. It was still a war, after all. 

Citrina’s skin was glowing and Lazuli didn’t know if it was because of good health or a true blessing from the Bulb. 

Sapphria, ever the rebel, wore a doublet and trousers, a beret cocked to one side. Box braids and gold, dangly earrings flanked the hat. She smiled wide and winked at Lazuli. 

Amethar was dressed in a fine new vest. He looked happy, if a little confused. The slight fuzz of a beard and his new mustache only made him look younger and more roguish. 

Jadian wore a fur coat, too many gold necklaces for his skinny frame, and a jeweled turban. A small sword rested at his side but Lazuli knew he had never used it, and never would. Despite the special occasion, he looked tired. His mustache dropped slightly and there were dark circles under his eyes. 

Queen Pamelia was radiant, however. She held her head high, wearing an elegantly embroidered dress and large gold earrings. 

Caramelinda’s parents were also dressed nicely but Lazuli noticed the worry lines and faded colors. There was a reason they agreed to this marriage.

It was a moderately sized wedding, with extended family and a few allies from Fructera. Citrina officiated, of course. She wore a long silk robe with a hood that shined a faint gold. She held her prayer book in her hands, her circlet at her hip even on this special occasion. She spoke of the Bulb and love and her fondest memories of both of them.

The two kissed for the first time as a married couple, and bells rang out across the land. Everyone clapped. Sapphria whooped. Caramelinda held out a hand and Lazuli took it. They walked down the aisle, hands clasped tight.

They finally found a small room to be alone together for just a moment. They didn’t say a single thing, they just took each other in and breathed and kissed and smiled, speaking the unspoken language of those in love, before returning again to the expectations of the party.

The night was filled with dancing and feasting and celebrating. Even Citrina was drinking.

“But what would the Bulb say?” Sapphria jested.

“The Bulb would want me to have a good time,” Citrina retorted and took a long sip. Sapphria cheered.

For some reason which Lazuli did not understand, her mother had ordered novelty mugs for every guest with a miniature painting of Lazuli and Caramelinda on it. “Did you pose for this?” Lazuli asked her wife. “Because I certainly did not.”

“Is that what that session was for?” Caramelinda laughed. “Yes, an artist did sketch me at your mother’s request but I just went along with it.”

Lazuli found her mother dancing with her father. “Was anyone going to tell me about this?” she asked, holding up a mug.

“What? Do you not like it? I think they’re cute!”

“It’s just not how I’d spend our royal finances!”

“Citrina thought they were cute!”

Lazuli rolled her eyes but didn’t stay mad long. Caramelinda pulled her onto the dance floor and Lazuli danced until she couldn’t feel her feet anymore.

…

The party died down until only close family were left up. They sat in comfy armchairs around the fireplace: Rococoa dozing off quietly; Citrina sitting cross-legged on the floor, hands folded in her lap; Sapphria in Plumbeline’s lap; Calroy in Amethar’s lap; and Lazuli in Caramelinda’s lap. The conversation had wandered into old crushes and relationships, started by neither Lazuli nor Caramelinda.

“Hey, do you remember that tutor we had?” Sapphria asked, prodding Citrina. “Do you remember his name? Now he was hot…”

“Okay!” Lazuli said, standing up. “Time for bed!” Caramelinda laughed as Lazuli pulled her up out of her seat. “Goodnight all!”

They took turns carrying each other up from the courtyard to their bed-chamber. Caramelinda insisted on going out of the room again so she could carry Lazuli across the doorframe herself. Lazuli complied, giggling when Caramelinda laid her down in bed. “Come here!” she pulled her wife in by the folds of her dress for a kiss.

As she leaned back, Lazuli could feel her body go weak. She tried to blink, focus her gaze, but the room was spinning. She took in a sharp breath. “Cara-”

Caramelinda’s expression immediately turned serious. She sat on the bed, scooping Lazuli’s hand into hers. “I’m here.”

Lazuli felt her body sink as if a heavy weight was placed on top of it as her eyes rolled back in her head.

_...arrows rain down from the sky.  
An arrow splits down the center, forming two, three, four.  
An arrow pierces through a soldier's armor, an arrow bounces off to the ground.  
The sky is so thick with the things, they block out the sun. It is dark._

_The image bends forward as Lazuli concentrates, trying to find the source.  
A figure dressed in blue and purple, hands tracing a pattern in the air.  
The figure shakes and collapses. Arrows continue to fall.  
Again and again, a single arrow strikes the figure’s heart._

_Once again, the image flickers and changes. Another figure, dressed in a light pink robe. An open window. The wind causes the robe to flutter around the figure’s ankles.  
Her hair falls long and curly down her back. She doesn’t take her gaze away from the window.  
And Lazuli knows what this vision of Caramelinda already knows- Lazuli is dead... _

She felt Caramelinda’s hand squeezing hers before anything else. The ringing in her ears slowly faded and Lazuli blinked until she could see her wife’s face. 

“Lazuli?”

“Hmm?” Lazuli murmured. 

“You’re crying.” Caramelinda looked at her sadly. “Do you want to talk about what you saw?”

Lazuli rose a hand to her cheek, slowly wiping away the tears. “Can we just lie here?”

“Okay.” And so the wives lay in bed, facing each other, in silence, until they both fell asleep.

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 32 years, 3 months, and 17 days  
14 days until Queen Pamelia catches ill  
8 months and 13 days until Lazuli Rocks dies**

Lazuli left the council room. Her advisors were still discussing plans, but Lazuli knew the choice was already made. She didn’t know if she had made it when she was four when the visions sealed her fate, or if it was made after she’d seen the most recent vision, or if it was even a choice. But it was already set in motion. She only had to explain it to Caramelinda.

“What is the plan?” Caramelinda asked, looking up from her embroidery.

“There wasn’t a consensus.”

“But you’ve decided.” It wasn’t a question. Caramelinda knew her wife.

“With everything that I understand about the future, there is only one way for us to win the war. I need to die. There isn’t any other option, I’ve searched.” 

Caramelinda let out the breath she had been holding in, and bowed her head for a moment, before looking up again. There wasn’t denial in her eyes, only certainty. “Okay.”

“Okay? You’re- you’re okay with this?!”

Cramelinda held up a hand, gentle but firm. She met Lazuli’s gaze. “You said in your vows you would never lie to me. If you say there is no other option, I believe you. I trust you.”

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 32 years and 7 months  
4 months and 2 days until Lazuli Rocks dies**

They had to have a closed casket ceremony. The rot had utterly ravaged Queen Pamelia’s body and there was little the doctors could do. The royal family sat in black, sitting silently in the front row of the castle’s chapel as a priest friend of Citrina’s rambled on about The Bulb. Lazuli didn’t listen to any of it. She felt too empty. 

Lazuli stared at the casket. “It’s my fault,” she murmured.

“What?” Rococoa glanced over at her.

Lazuli left before her family could see her cry.

Rococoa found her pacing her study. 

“She should have survived! I saw her survive!”

“You couldn’t know exactly what was going to happen.”

“I have to know! What if I die and what I saw happen doesn’t happen?! What if I die in vain?! I can’t do that to you! I can’t do that Caramelinda!”

“You aren’t the only one who has made a choice here. Caramelinda has chosen to trust you. We all have. If you say something is going to happen, we believe you.”

**Lazuli Rocks: Age 32 years, 11 months, and 3 days  
12 hours until Lazuli Rocks dies**

They went to Lazuli’s favorite bakery in Dulcington for breakfast. They had sex at midday. As they lay in bed, Caramelinda whispered to Lazuli, “What if there’s a timeline where we make it?”

“That’s the thing- there could be. But this is the one we’re in.”

They filled the tub with warm, sudsy water and bathed together, taking turns quietly running a washcloth over the other’s skin. They dried themselves by a roaring fire, Caramelinda braiding Lazuli’s hair. When she was done, she kissed the nape of Lazuli’s neck.

They lay next to each other in their bed in the dark, naked, looking at each other, hardly saying a word. “How many hours left?” Caramelinda whispered but Lazuli shushed her. 

“We don’t have to worry about that right now.”

Caramelinda eventually dozed off and Lazuli lay next to her, watching her sleep. Restless, she slipped out of bed, making herself a cup of honey tea and getting dressed in simple robes. She went to the balcony, watching the early dawn light.

Cara appeared next to her, wrapped in a silk pink robe. “Come back to bed, my dear.”

“I have to leave soon, I can’t. If I join you again, I don’t think I’ll be able to leave.”

Cara lowered Lazuli’s glasses from her face and they kissed.

When they pulled away, Cara didn’t take her eyes off of Lazuli’s face. “Will I be happy?” she asked. “Will I ever move on?”

“Do you want to move on?” Lazuli asked in return.

“No,” Cara whispered softly.

They embraced. Caramelinda clung to Lazuli, squeezing her tighter than she ever had before. All Lazuli could do was be gentle and strong for her. The Bulb’s light spread through the window.

Eventually, Caramelinda pulled away. “You have to go.”

Now was the moment. She had made this choice long ago and yet now that the time had come, Lazuli couldn’t move. There were so many other futures that could exist. There were worlds where she could survive, climb back into bed with Caramelinda, and forget everything. But this was the future she wanted, the survival of Candia, the survival of its magic. If that future could happen without her death, she would choose it in a heartbeat. But there wasn’t. And so she kissed Caramelinda goodbye one last time and left.

**1 hour until Lazuli Rocks dies**

The sky was gray. Everything felt thin. It was too bright even in the early dawn. Her body felt tense and she couldn’t swallow.

She wasn’t sad. Her eyes were dry, her lips pressed into a tight line.

She boarded the ship silently, nodding at the Gumbar soldiers. Theo gave her an extra deep bow. She could barely manage a smile back.

Her private cabin had a small porthole window. She sat by it and watched as they pulled away, Castle Candy disappearing in the distance. She still didn’t cry.

Her heart beat heavily in her chest. She pulled out her quill and paper and began to write. Even with years of preparation, there was more she wanted to get down. A few last correspondences with Cumulous, preparations for the worst-case scenario.

She tried to rest. But she couldn’t relax. Memories, not visions, but vivid enough to prophesy, played through her head. She thought of rolling down the grassy hills with Cocoa and Citrina when they were children. She thought of going swimming in the Cola River with Sapphria in the summer as a teen. She thought of her mother, standing proud. And she thought of her wife. Caramelinda. The woman she never thought she would fall in love with. She thought of the familiarity of her sleeping, snoring form in their bed. She thought of her laugh. She thought of what a great mother she would make one day.

There was a loud thud, jolting Lazuli out of her daze. There was a sturdy knock on her door. “Your majesty, we are here.”

She treaded carefully ahead, a line of Vegetanian soldiers stood in silhouette on the hill in front of her. Her heart pounded. She took a deep breath and began to trace lines in front. Lines she knew by memory. 

Lazuli began to recite, all of her passion and energy going into the words. Her volume began to rise. The tightness in her chest became more prominent. It began to burn.

She continued to recite, her eyes closed, her mind focused. Her body shook in pain and she tensed against her own breaking limbs. The words were rising to a crescendo. Her ears were ringing. She stomped her foot down into the earth. A single, glowing sigil formed in front of her and arrows rained down from the sky. 

She could hear soldiers screaming. Her body gave out and she collapsed. A single stray arrow pierced her heart.

Her vision spun for one last time.

_...Citrina sitting in a cathedral courtyard, sharing tea with a well-dressed woman, both of them laughing.  
Sapphria riding her Meep through the Great Stone Candy Mountains, whooping for joy.  
Rococoa sitting on the throne, eyes tired but content.  
Amethar sharing a drink with Calroy, mugs raised in a toast.  
Caramelinda cradling two beautiful babies, swaddled in pink and black, beaming.  
Candia was at peace. Her family was safe... _

Her ears were ringing. But just as she began to regain sound again, it all faded away. Darkness. Silence.

She could feel her body being lifted up high into the ear. She was weightless. She didn’t need to breathe, she didn’t need to think, she just knew. She could see all of Candia. Its magic was expansive, still growing. It was strong. This was Lazulis’s dream. It was beautiful.

And then, her view wavered, became distorted. She couldn’t see. Everything was too bright. Lazuli tried to struggle, she tried to scream. But no words came from her. She was blinded. 

Maybe it was hours, maybe it was seconds, but the bright light finally softened into a purple glow. An old, familiar voice whispered in her ear, “Welcome home. You have so much work to do.” 

And Lazuli realized she didn’t want to be home. She didn’t want more work. She wanted peace. 

Lazuli Rocks finally thought of herself. And she cried.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought, I've been thinking about Lazuli Rocks for like half a year and would love to talk about her with other people!


End file.
